Friday, 27 March 2009

Don't Be a Fool For Love

Buyer beware
We instinctively look for the good in people, especially the people we love. We don't want to see their flaws or mistakes. We may even recognize someone's behavior as a red flag and then immediately choose to ignore it. We do this hoping that our partner will change — soon.
But ignoring red flags over a period of time can be asking for trouble or heartbreak. To avoid that, watch for clues. Be aware, be awake, listen. Be aware of how you interact with someone you are dating. Be awake to the signs and don't ignore them thinking you might be overreacting.

Get together
Many savvy people turn fools for love when pacing their online dating. Why? In the early stages, it's easy to know anything and everything about a potential partner without really knowing them. When you are looking for a love connection, you are looking for a physical chemistry or compatibility. Be aware that while someone's profile and photo may look good, it's no match for that physical connection from a first date.
So resist falling for this person before you even meet. Getting to know someone takes more than a picture, IMs, emails, profiles, and phone calls. Reserve your decisions for after you and your potential partner have had plenty of face-to-face time.

Say no to settling
It's a little too easy for some of us to settle for less than our ideal, especially if we've been looking for a while.
To make sure you get it, turn down the volume on your head, heart and libido and listen to your gut instead. Trust your instincts, and be willing to walk away from someone.

Use your head
Quite often, people are blinded with emotion. A strong attraction is what all of us want to feel when choosing a mate, but we have to ask whether that mate's values align with ours. To avoid that, step back and think the relationship through.
Try to put your feelings aside momentarily, and take a close and impartial look at the attributes of your mate, his or her values, characteristics and the differences between the two of you — many of which may be negotiable. If it appears your instincts and intuition are telling you one thing and your impulses another, go with your instincts and intuition.

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